Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Psalm 51:6
Throughout my personal journey, this Scripture has been a lifeline. In the midst of the darkness, it has acted as a beacon of sorts, to bring me to pause and become re-oriented. What is the truth of the situation? I would ask myself, when faced with a brutal fact or ugly realization. Because the truth is, I was hurt as a little girl. Spiritually and emotionally wounded as a young woman. Emotional scars, while often invisible, bear some of the deepest shadows and most agonizing pain that is ever known on this earth. Spiritually injuring a budding soul reaps scathing words from Jesus: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes! Matthew 18
'Offense' also means 'abuse.'
I know that for some women, God has instituted miraculous healings that cleanse from the depths every ache within the soul. What a beautiful treasure! Those who have been so liberated can attest to His wondrous, miraculous ways.
For others, our journeys lie along lurid, precipitous paths. I believe that God is no less involved. I cannot suggest why some seem to have a more difficult time; a further distance to wander . . . yet let me whisper: as one who has stumbled along a prolonged, excruciating, black-as-midnight path, that the sweet intimacy which God has fostered through the pain is of such exquisite beauty that parts of me would do it all over again if it would bring me nearer to Him.
What is the truth of your situation?
I do not believe that glossing over ugly words, dismissing actions or attitudes that were hurtful towards you, or applying a bandage to the gashes on your heart, are effective measures to healing inner inflictions. Making something look more palatable has become a coping mechanism for some, but it is of little help for true, lasting healing. Convincing yourself that it didn't happen, or that at least it wasn't as bad as you feel, merely prohibits recovery.
May I humbly add that this is denial?
I do not say this to shame the aching dear souls who long for God’s touch. He knows when the time is right to venture forth into the darkness. I beg you: do not rush against His leading. Yet when He urges you forward, know beyond the shadow of a doubt that He is with you every step, every moment. If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. Psalm 139:8
It is natural to feel as though you are betraying the ones who injured you. Acknowledging truth is a separate matter from forgiveness. In moments of confusion ask, what is the truth of the situation? Is it true that you were hurt? Do not succumb to the temptation to shrug it away as though it didn’t matter. The truth is that it does matter. It does hurt. Please do not think to yourself, Well, I was just too sensitive. They were just kidding around. Those thoughts will prolong the regeneration of your spirit. You as a person, as a woman, matter to Jesus! He yearns to fill the broken, empty places with His love and light and life.
Over the next few days I will be talking about forgiveness, respect, and honor as it relates to truth.