Finding Healing from Disillusionment | Guest Post

by Elizabeth Wyse Cook

What do you do when someone you trust breaks that trust?  When you find out that they are a hypocrite?  When you finally realize that all the little things that didn’t quite make sense before, now make perfect sense, but in the opposite way you had hoped? 

don’t know about you, but I felt lost.  Disoriented.  And hurt – deeply hurt. I totally believed the leader of the organization I was a part of.  Why wouldn’t I?  My parents believed a lot of what he said.  What he said sounded logical.  He seemed to have things all figured out.  He claimed to have answers that no one else did to very common problems that people face.  And his “answers” seemed to work.  If they didn’t, it must be my fault, not his.  I must not be doing it right.  I must not be committed enough.  I just need to keep trying, and then it will work.

I worshiped him, really.  Of course, I would have denied any such thing.  Everyone knows that you only worship God, not people, even really outstanding leaders.  But in reality, I worshiped him.  I believed every word.  I believed the stories he told of the wonderful things God was doing through him and the organization.  I wanted so much to be a part of those wonderful things!

Some things didn’t quite stack up, though.  Why did the board of directors change frequently?  Sometimes it was just one or two leaving and being replaced.  Other times it was almost everyone on the board.  Much later, I learned that the leader, according to the organization’s bylaws, can never be fired.  So, while he claims to be accountable to the board, he really is accountable to absolutely no one. If one of the men on the board disagrees with the leader too much, the leader has been known to be sure they leave the board at the end of their one year term.

Considering a Godly Response to Unhealthy Authority | Guest Post

By James A. Karpowitz

In a prior post I cited some examples of unhealthy authority, that which is abusive, domineering or controlling or which serves its own purposes and personal security. So how do we as believers respond to the abuse of authority in a godly manner? Since the scope of Quivering Daughters addresses issues within the family structure, my comments will be in that context. You can, of course, make other applications as you see fit. It’s difficult to get down to specifics without knowing more of a given situation but knowing what to do with a specific situation starts with some general guiding principles.

A godly response begins within the heart prior to any external, observable actions. Jesus addressed the heart motivations of people, those unseen components of our lives defining why we do what we do. This is an important truth to understand because you may have had your own motives wrongly questioned or criticized by someone either in authority or in pseudo-authority. If you want them to question your loyalty, just refuse to be manipulated and dominated. If you want them to doubt your spiritual maturity, don’t accept a burden that isn’t yours to carry. However, if you want to be labeled “rebellious”, complete with a tee shirt and a certificate suitable for framing, just take a contrary position to a person trying to claim (or subject you to) authoritarian rule in your life. Trust me, it will work. Is it rebellious, however, to make a personal decision as an adult that may or may not be in concert with a decision your parents would make? Is it rebellious to make decisions, period, rather than waiting to be told what to do? Is it rebellious to disagree with a husband concerning a matter of, say, a child’s well being?

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Authority | Guest Post

I am happy to welcome James A. Karpowitz to Quivering Daughters! Please enjoy his guest post:

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Authority

By James A. Karpowitz

Authority is supposed to be a tool for good. You see it in the world when a policeman corrals a speeder or nabs a robbery suspect. You can observe it in a military command structure, keeping an entire army operating as a cohesive unit. In a Christian context, it’s difficult to argue from scripture that authority ought not to exist. God places spiritual leadership in the church. The Bible does say that the husband is the head of the wife. God does have parents exercise authority over their children by setting reasonable parameters and limits for their behavior (no Jason, you can’t attend that unsupervised party or practice your Tae Kwon Do skills on your little sister). I’ve heard much in conservative Christian circles about submission to authority over the years. I would like to see more emphasis on how healthy, functional authority is supposed to operate. Having acknowledged that authority does have its proper place, it is equally important to recognize that authority is not intended to be an end in itself, that it can function in an unhealthy manner and that it can even be falsely assumed. I just finished a bowl of cereal and it occurred to me that authority gone bad is like milk gone sour. It may have started out good but it ended up bad. Unfortunately, authority can turn unhealthy despite the best of intentions. I want to examine a few ways that authority can curdle, so to speak. The primary context for our discussion here will be Christian relationships between parents and adult children, husbands and wives, and pastors and their flock.