You Have a Story

My strategy to survive was to appease the soldiers and to make friends with them. I thought, if only we could make friends with these soldiers, then we would survive. 

But porters can die at any time. For example, if a soldier got angry and just shot me with his gun, nothing would happen to him. I would just die, like a chicken or a rat. To Tanintharyi Division, they send 500 porters every year. Of the 500, only 72 porters make it back to the prison. If you survive, you survive.

I was a porter for nearly six months.

~ Lai Pa, 34-year-old man from Burma. Source: How to Use Stories to Change the World.

by Hillary McFarland

verybody has a story. Sometimes it's buried so deep we forget we have something to say. We wonder who would want to listen? And often it's so painful that reliving our stories through the telling process is such an overwhelming prospect that we squash it into oblivion.

Stories are like sculptures. They must be chiseled slowly, carefully. Creating art from a sprawling array of experiences takes time. And yet, this can be powerful. Redemptive. And part of a personal healing journey.

My book features many stories from women who share their experiences of setting out like Abraham into a land they do not know, a life they do not know. It's a tremendous act of faith to follow the prompting of God and leave all they've known behind, but these women are brave. Courageous. And I am deeply inspired by them. They are my heroes. And I continue to hear from others who do the same ... who leave all to take up their cross and follow God into the wilderness despite extreme physical and emotional hardship, rejection from their families, and the comfort of what they've always known. It is scary to walk by faith! It is agonizing to endure accusations, knowing that your act of godly obedience reaps judgments of rebellion, of feminism, of apostasy and worse from those you love the most.

It is in this pain, in this becoming, in this life journey, we find your story.

Take Heart

I've been spending 12 and 18 hour days on my book, Quivering Daughters, and I am happy to report I have a very loving, supportive husband! :-) I'm really excited about my progress and grateful for all of you who continue to check in. I have a couple guest posts coming so be sure to visit again soon!

In other news, No Longer Quivering is hosting a blog-a-thon to help raise awareness for the Take Heart Project, a non-profit organization whose mission statement is "to provide support to women and children who are escaping abusive religious movements, and to provide the public with accurate, compassionate information on the unique challenges faced by the spiritually abused." If you're interested in reading more of Vyckie's experience, please view No Longer Quivering.

As quivering daughters, we all have memories that stick out in our minds ~ words, experiences, even times we were punished unfairly, accused, shamed. One young woman, at 20 years of age, was told by her mother, "If I miscarry after all the stress you've caused us, it will be your fault." These words deeply wound. Left buried in the bones of our soul, they become dark, aching shadows that are carried throughout life and affect what we think, believe, and feel. Ultimately, they can color the way we see God and become stumbling blocks to healing, to truth.

Do you hide words, memories? Are there painful places that beg to be released, brought to light? Let me encourage you to find someone you trust, and tell them. Write them into a journal, and pray that God will replace those scars with grace. Feel free to share anonymously here, or to email if you like. I long for you to rejoice with the freedom that comes through truth!

May God bless you, friends and sisters.
Emmanuel.

Crucible

Truth wrung from a heart of pain, melted in the crucible of life and guided by the Healer's hand, is a gift without measure.

A living mystery. 

A quivering daughter writes:

"If there was anything that I'd convey to other women and girls going through or coming out of similar circumstances [it would be] Truth. God's truth is NOT conditional, does not contradict itself. It is not based in hatred. Not based in fear. It convicts and draws our hearts, opening them further to God, not for inspection and criticism. Not so that it's precious contents can be judged, compared or ridiculed. But so that God the Father can have access to express His joy, compassion, care and concern. It's not something He takes from his daughters. There is not one part of God's character that demands.
 While our earthly father's may have misused or abused the power and authority over their daughters, that is not a part of God's character. He doesn't game play or pull the rug out from under us. He does not put us in compromising situations or laugh at us. He does not use our emotions against us. He treasures us, comforts us. Sees the pain and hurt and everything we lock away for safe keeping. He waits, knowing that relationship comes and is strengthened when we seek out His comfort ~ yet even while waiting, He makes known the comfort and protection that He wants to bestow on us. Even while we are in the midst of horrifying situations, the truth of our Father is there, contradicting the experiences we've had at the hands of our earthly fathers."

May you be filled with the healing truth of our Heavenly Father.

image source 
(Yes, I'm still on break, but I had to post this today.)

The Weight of Honor

I have established the importance of acknowledging truth within relationships and the past. However, it is factual that there are times when the truth of something is so hideously ugly and shameful that our initial tendency is to shrug away some of the dark details and accept or present a slightly "enhanced", more palatable version.

This inhibits healing.

Today I would like to discuss one reason why I think it is natural for us to do this, and why it is so difficult to overcome.

We all have different degrees of abuse, hurts, and painful memories; we each are on very personal journeys in life with various degrees of "progress", for lack of a better term. For those of us raised with a strong Biblical foundation, fresh on our minds at all times--further twisting the guilt and struggle--is the concept and command to:

“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:“that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Eph. 6

Honor.

How can we honor our parents while still acknowledging the truth of our pain and taking necessary steps to correct it?

April Lorier has written a very insightful article regarding honoring those who abuse:

How Do You Honor an Abusive Mother?
Today is Mother's Day and I've been thinking about the years of struggle I experienced as I tried to find ways of honoring my mother (who never wanted to be a mother). She was, after all, an abusive and self-centered mother, thanks, in part, to her own upbringing.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/761225/how_do_you_honor_an_abusive_mother.html

What honor is not

Many--parents, even--think that to honor is synonymous with to obey. This is simply not the case; and Paul makes the distinction between obedience and honor in the beginning of Ephesians 6. I find it very interesting that Michael Pearl has written upon this subject in his article Patriarchal Dysfunctional Families, part 2: [It is well known that I do not endorse everything written by the Pearls but find this excerpt pertinent to this discussion.]

Honour your father and mother.
Men and women ranging in age from 18 to 80 are asking, “What does it mean to honor my father and mother?” The Patriarchal movement has capitalized on the misperception that honor means obey. The Scriptures are clear, there is no age limit on honoring your parents. In Matthew 15, Jesus rebuked the religious leaders for not honoring their parents. But nowhere in the entire Bible is honor synonymous with obedience, and nowhere does the Bible even suggest that an adult should obey his parents. It speaks quite to the contrary.
Jesus said very plainly, “For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matt. 10:35–37).
The Bible viewed in its entirety—not cherry-picked—throws a lot of light on the subject of honor to parents.

Foundational Passages.
The word honor (honour) is found in the Bible 146 times.
Following are the two Old Testament accounts of foundational passage on honoring your father and mother, and the New Testament reference and affirmation of the commandment.

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Deuteronomy 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Ephesians 6:2–3 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

God promised the Jews that if they would honor their parents (no age limit), they would continue to live in the Promised Land, but if their society failed to honor parents, they would be cast out of the land.

What it means to honor.
Leviticus 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.
1 Samuel 15:30–31 Then he said, I have sinned: yet honour me now, I pray thee, before the elders of my people, and before Israel, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD thy God. So Samuel turned again after Saul; and Saul worshipped the LORD.

Honor is Respect Due to a Person
Based On Any Consideration.

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

If honor implies obedience, or conformity to the will of the other, then a husband is to obey his wife.

Honor all men.
Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Romans 13:7 Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
1 Corinthians 12:23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
1 Peter 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.

We know we are not to obey all men, but we are told to honor all men, so honor and obey are not synonymous. If honor were to equate with obedience, Samuel could not have honored Saul with his presence at the sacrifice.

Inappropriate honor.
Proverbs 26:1 As snow in summer, and as rain in harvest, so honour is not seemly for a fool.
Proverbs 26:8 As he that bindeth a stone in a sling, so is he that giveth honour to a fool. [It will come back and hit you in the head.]
Ecclesiastes 10:1 Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour. [An otherwise honorable person who commits folly stinks.]
“Honour to whom honour,” but no honor toward a fool, even if it is a parent. You honor your parents as the ones who gave you life and dedicated one fourth of their lives to nurturing you, but you shouldn’t lie and cheapen honor by being blind. A grown woman who honors a father who molested her and has never repented and sought restitution, that woman is binding a stone in a sling and flinging it with a certainty of it returning and hitting her in the head.

Jesus on honoring your father and mother.
Mark 7:9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.
10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:
11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.
12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;
13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.

Jesus gives us a clear example of what it means to honor your parents. He was speaking to grown men in positions of spiritual leadership who found a loophole in the Jewish law which permitted them to abdicate their responsibility to care for their aging parents. They took their savings and, as it were, put it in an account labeled: “Dedicated to God.” Having done that, they couldn’t access it to spend on their needy parents. No doubt after the parents were dead, the money would be transferred to a retirement account for themselves.

Not honoring is:
• Cursing parents (Matthew 15:4).
• Withholding financial support (Matthew 15:5).
• Not doing for them when they are in need (Mark 7:12).
There is no mention of descendants obeying their parents—never.

Honor is:
• Being kindly affectionate (Romans 12:10).
• Seeking the good of the other (Romans 12:10—“preferring one another”).
• Respecting the office or position of a person (Romans 13:7).
• Bestowing more honor than their level of gifts suggest (1 Corinthians 12:23).

Bottom Line.
Ephesians 6:1 Children, [Those being brought up—Ephesians 6:4] obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour [Obedience and honor are separate issues.] thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. [Children, the ones who are to obey their parents, are being brought up—not yet adults.]
5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters [Parents are not masters; they are mentors, and children are not servants.] according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

Obedience and honor are separate issues.
We know this to be true because:
• The words are spelled differently.
• They are never used interchangeably.
• The context in which they are used demonstrates a clear distinction.
• A distinction is made the only time the two words appear in close proximity.
(Ephesians 6:1–5). Children who are being brought up are to obey their parents (6:1). All are to honor their fathers and mothers (6:2). And servants are to be obedient to their masters (6:5). Different words, different meanings, different applications. It is all in the Word of God, but kept carefully separated and distinct from each other.
1 Peter 2:13–14 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
The language used here when commanding us to submit to government is conspicuously absent in those passages addressing the honoring of one’s parents. --Michael Pearl, No Greater Joy

Understanding that honor is not blind obedience means . . .

• we are not bound to obey every word of our parents,* nor follow every doctrine to which they prescribe.
• because we are called to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, it is my humble belief that this gives us the responsibility to be proactive in seeking God's heart and will for each of us, individually. Often this will take us in a different direction than which we were raised. This is not to say that our parents did not have anything of value to offer or to instill within us; however it does grant freedom to seek God directly to determine His will for our lives. I have known many women who are frozen by guilt and shame, thinking they are disobedient and rebellious towards God merely by questioning their parents. How sad this is, for often it holds us back from truly being the women He wants us to be!
• we should consider what a huge responsibility we are under, to seek God directly! We answer to God alone for our souls; we cannot rely upon our parents for this! We do not have an excuse for the theological errors of others. With this is mind, think about how honoring it truly is for you to be actively pursuing a relationship with God through Christ; seeking truth and wholeness through the finished work of Jesus! What a testimony to your parents this is!
  

This brings up my point: just because some--parents or others--may not believe you bring honor through your life, doesn't mean that you are not. I exhort you to examine your heart and seek wisdom from God for His direction and leading. Many people have a preconceived idea of what honor is and yet unfortunately, sometimes they are incorrect.

I submit to you that:
serving God brings honor to your parents . . .
loving and obeying God brings honor to your parents . . .
living a life in accordance to His leading, brings honor to your parents . . .
loving your husband and others, brings honor to your parents . . .
seeking truth and wholeness brings honor to your parents . . .
. . . even if they disagree. Even if they think you are in error. Even if they look at you as though you are the lost sheep, keep you from your family, and speak ill of you.

You answer to God. May your life be pleasing to Him.

This does not mean that we do not need counsel and accountability. This does not mean that we cannot hear or receive the words given to us by others. My contention is that we are not under obligation to follow and live our lives according to the doctrines of others, but to take what we are given before God and to discover from Him that which we should keep, and that which should fall away. I am saddened when so many are held captive by the traditions of men, while our Heavenly Father offers so much! I am grieved when I see others who are oppressed by guilt and shame thinking they are rebellious for seeking the voice of God; when His voice sounds differently than their fathers, leaving tender souls spinning in confusion, agony, depression, and darkness.

1 John 3:20-22 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

Regardless of the hurts and mistakes committed by the humans who brought you into the world, they have helped shape you into the person you are today. God can redeem and sanctify everything that you have experienced and your life can be a testimony to Him. I venture that at the heart, most patriarchal parents would say that their desire is for God to be glorified through their children. I believe that the difference comes through a disagreement over what exactly glorifies and honors God? Perhaps a difference in values, or Scriptural interpretation? Yet God is able to determine what brings Him glory; let Him be your guide.

In conclusion: is acknowledging truth a righteous thing to do, especially when truth leads to God's glory, and healing, even when truth hurts?

Are we called to live righteously before God?

For offspring to live righteously, is this not the utmost in honor for a parent; even when the parent does not agree with choices or decisions their child has made? God is the one who justifies. Let God determine what brings Him glory.


*It is assumed that my words are directed to, and read by, adult women.

The Weight of the Years

I hope that as you read this post today, you will hear my heart behind the words I write. As your sister and sojourner through the valley of heartache and pain, I know intimately the depth of grief and torment that has throbbed within your spirit for ages. Secret aching--hidden away, ignored, minimized, and cursed--yet always there; an undercurrent of sorrow, wending its way through the years.

I offer you the inquiry of Jesus.

Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” John 5

What a question from the mouth of the Son of God!

The One who knows the deepest recess of the soul looked into the pain of this man and instantly addressed the very heart of his need and desire.

Do you want to be made well?

What would you say, if He stood before you at this moment and asked the question which carried the weight of the years?

The Desire of God

It is my passionate belief that He wants you to be made well . . . moreover, that is why He has come:

To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
^{Psalm 147:3}

The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed
Luke 18

He sees you.

He knows every moment, every glimmer of pain and aching within your heart.
He has heard every hurtful word that was spoken to you.
He knows your every devastating thought; He knows the helplessness and the hopelessness that you have endured. He knows the bitter torment and the weary efforts to keep trying. He knows your exhaustion and your tears.

He knows.
He knows.
He knows.

And He weeps.

There is an old song by Jars of Clay that spoke to me greatly when I was young and trying desperately to make it from one day to the next:

Don't try to reach me, 'cause I'm already dead
The pain when it grips me, for things that I've done
Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
the Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?
Chorus:
Fearful tears are running down
The pain you've laid don't speak a sound
Don't take my heart away from me
And they think I fell down, again

Daddy, don't you love me?
Then why do you hit me?
Momma don't you love me
Then why do you hurt me?
Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
the Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?
[Chorus]
A teardrop falls from up in the heavens
Drowning the sorrow of angels on high
For the least of the helpless, the hopeless, the loveless
Your Jesus, His children, He holds in His eyes

He loves you
He sees you
He knows you
protects you
He needs you
He holds you
He--Jars of Clay

Whether the bruises lie upon your skin or your soul, they are just as real. Just as debilitating.

What have you done with them?

Jesus does not want for you to carry these burdens any longer. He wants you to give them to Him; He longs for you to walk in freedom. He yearns for you to taste the sweetness of the life He offers . . . life rich in grace and joy! Laboring under the weight of pain keeps us from looking up--at Him, into His eyes, into His heart. He desires to transform your agony into a sweet sacrifice of beauty. Will you allow Him to gently enter in? For our Lord is exquisitely tender. He loves you, with a deep, fervent, abiding love.

Before we proceed, I would like to humbly venture into a very sensitive subject that will, I believe, determine whether lasting healing will come.

It is the issue of forgiveness.

Dear one, this is hard for me to write because I do not wish to add to your pain. Please know that I do not insinuate that you have not forgiven those who have inflicted injury to you; nor am I minimizing the grief and terrible wrong. I have learned that until forgiveness has been granted, there will be a stumbling block to the healing of the soul. Take comfort that you are not alone; the Son of God will give you strength for the journey.

Before Him, I humbly ask that you examine your heart for any root of bitterness or unforgiveness that may have taken hold. Ask our Heavenly Father to shed His light upon you and to reveal if there is anything that keeps you from pressing on. Follow His timing and His leading; He knows your struggle.

In the words of Corrie ten Boom, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." Although on most occasions this will not bring instantaneous healing, I believe that this is the first step towards wholeness. Forgiveness releases us; when we forgive we can also rest in the knowledge that we are walking according to God's will, and in obedience. It is here, too, that He is glorified.

What forgiveness is not

I would like to make it very clear that forgiving someone does not mean that what they did doesn't matter. It doesn't mean that you will not have to walk through the valley of the shadow as you follow the leading of our Shepherd. It does not mean that you agree with what others did or said.

It does not make everything okay.

Forgiveness does not erase the truth.

However, it frees you to face the truth.

I wrote elsewhere, and will repeat:

I believe that a grave disservice is done to the spirit of a woman when she is given subtle messages that the truth of her own pain is not as important as the reputation of the ones who inflicted it.

What is the truth of the situation?

Forgiveness and truth

Psalm 56:8 You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
⁹ When I cry out to You,
Then my enemies will turn back;
This I know, because God is for me.

In my own experience, I found that once I could truly say that I had forgiven, a whole new world unfolded before me. It became okay to launch myself into the pain, secure in the arms of God. It became appropriate to acknowledge the grim reality of the wounds I had borne. To face the secrets and the shadows.

The journey is intensely personal, and yet as you feel your way along the paths, many things become clear:

• God is there, within the darkness, and He has not abandoned you to bear your pain alone.
• Although tested, your faith is greatly rewarded.
• Through suffering, He has granted to you a catalyst for expressing His ministry to the hurting souls of others.
• In ways that others cannot, you are able to know Him through the fellowship of His sufferings.

This is just the beginning of the richness of His grace. For those who have been tempered by affliction, weathered by distress, and tested by fires of the lacerations of life, He offers the sweetest gifts that while not erasing the scars, sanctify them and join you ever closer to Him.

None of this makes it okay.

But please, my sisters, hear me . . .

Our Redeemer makes everything beautiful in its own time. If you embark upon the odyssey of grief, He will sustain and comfort you; He will set your feet upon the path of life and fill you with joy in His presence! He will restore the years, He will bring healing and victory. I implore you to lay your broken body and your broken heart and your broken mind and your broken soul before His feet. Offer it as a sweet sacrifice, for The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart—These, O God, You will not despise.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Revelation 21 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me,“Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts."

The Hidden Part

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Psalm 51:6

Throughout my personal journey, this Scripture has been a lifeline. In the midst of the darkness, it has acted as a beacon of sorts, to bring me to pause and become re-oriented. What is the truth of the situation? I would ask myself, when faced with a brutal fact or ugly realization. Because the truth is, I was hurt as a little girl. Spiritually and emotionally wounded as a young woman. Emotional scars, while often invisible, bear some of the deepest shadows and most agonizing pain that is ever known on this earth. Spiritually injuring a budding soul reaps scathing words from Jesus: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes! Matthew 18

'Offense' also means 'abuse.'

I know that for some women, God has instituted miraculous healings that cleanse from the depths every ache within the soul. What a beautiful treasure! Those who have been so liberated can attest to His wondrous, miraculous ways.

For others, our journeys lie along lurid, precipitous paths. I believe that God is no less involved. I cannot suggest why some seem to have a more difficult time; a further distance to wander . . . yet let me whisper: as one who has stumbled along a prolonged, excruciating, black-as-midnight path, that the sweet intimacy which God has fostered through the pain is of such exquisite beauty that parts of me would do it all over again if it would bring me nearer to Him.

What is the truth of your situation?

I do not believe that glossing over ugly words, dismissing actions or attitudes that were hurtful towards you, or applying a bandage to the gashes on your heart, are effective measures to healing inner inflictions. Making something look more palatable has become a coping mechanism for some, but it is of little help for true, lasting healing. Convincing yourself that it didn't happen, or that at least it wasn't as bad as you feel, merely prohibits recovery.

May I humbly add that this is denial?

And deceptive?

I do not say this to shame the aching dear souls who long for God’s touch. He knows when the time is right to venture forth into the darkness. I beg you: do not rush against His leading. Yet when He urges you forward, know beyond the shadow of a doubt that He is with you every step, every moment. If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. Psalm 139:8

It is natural to feel as though you are betraying the ones who injured you. Acknowledging truth is a separate matter from forgiveness. In moments of confusion ask, what is the truth of the situation? Is it true that you were hurt? Do not succumb to the temptation to shrug it away as though it didn’t matter. The truth is that it does matter. It does hurt. Please do not think to yourself, Well, I was just too sensitive. They were just kidding around. Those thoughts will prolong the regeneration of your spirit. You as a person, as a woman, matter to Jesus! He yearns to fill the broken, empty places with His love and light and life.

Over the next few days I will be talking about forgiveness, respect, and honor as it relates to truth.