A Gentle Reality Check for the Daughters of Patriarchy

s I shared on facebook, I've wanted to address this topic for a long time. But while chatting with my friend Darcy, I realized that she was the perfect one to write about it instead. I'm including a teaser clip below, but please click the following link to view the article in its entirety. I couldn't be more thankful or proud of Darcy for this and truly believe that this reality check is sorely needed in the world of Biblical Patriarchy. 

Darcy writes:

My husband's a trucker. I'm "alone" from about Sunday afternoon to Friday afternoon every week during the summer. I have to fend for myself and three kids. I sleep alone, a gun nearby, knowing there may come a night I'll have to use it (and trust me, I can use it better than most men I know). I have to make all the decisions on how to run my house alone. I have to be mature and interact with the world around me (including men and atheists *gasp*) alone. I have to be discerning all by myself, able to judge right and wrong, wise and foolish. If I break down on the side of the road, my husband isn't there to "protect" or rescue me. I have to deal with it as if I were single. I have to be strong and capable and mature and independent every single day. My husband leaves every week depending on me to be all these things and more. If I had an emergency, it could be 12+ hours before my husband could get to me. He didn't need a girl who needed to be coddled, needed someone to make decisions for her, needed to be "led" and guided in daily interactions like a child. He needed a mature woman who could handle an imperfect life. And it's a darn good thing that I didn't spend my growing up years thinking I needed a man to handle my life or come between me and the big bad world. I had to learn how to be a functioning part of society and take care of myself and others. My family's well-being depends on this.

I know girls who weren’t allowed to go grocery shopping, in a safe small town, without their dad or big brother for “protection”. They weren’t allowed to go anywhere without a man, for that matter. Their view of the Big Bad Men in the world they needed to be protected from has grown into a paranoia. They’re scared of their own shadows. They think all men are out to rape them or take advantage of them. And they truly believe they are gullible, weak, and cannot handle life on their own, because that's the line they've been fed all their lives. It's become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As my friend, Christi, said in comment to this idea:

"This is exactly what patriarchy wants us to believe, that women are weak-minded things incapable of avoiding dangerous situation. I lived alone ...and I never found myself in a compromising position. And how would a predator know whether a woman lived at home with her parents, or with her husband, or lived "alone" (with roommates)?

And while we're talking about this, why don't people realize that homemakers are some of the most "alone" and vulnerable women out there? You seem to not realize that married young women have to do the exact same things that young women who are away at college have to do, and more. I have to go out and do my shopping alone, just like a college girl would (though I imagine that college girls get to carpool together). What's more, I'm even at home alone. I'm pretty sure that I'd really be better protected on a college campus since I'm alone during the day (and night, since my husband works until 11 PM) and have often had to interact with strange men, sometimes even inside my house, while my husband is at work. Apartment maintenance men, internet guy, phone guy, UPS man, door-to-door salesmen, etc. Oh, and it's usually my job to take our car in for repairs and oil changes. Car repairmen are actually pretty nice, or maybe it depends on where you go (which again, is simply a matter of making an intelligence choice).

I mean no disrespect to my husband when I say this but, he's really not here a lot to protect me because he's busy working a full-time job in addition to being a full-time student. My marriage license doesn't really afford me any more physical protection than I had when I was single."

 Please view On Women and Protection to read more! 

An Ultimate Question: Will God Protect My Kids? (by Brant Hansen)

Eric's Note: Brant Hansen is the host of the Christian radio program "Mornings With Brant," which, unlike some other Christian radio programs, includes irony, accordion playing, and actually talking about Jesus. This recent post from his blog falls into the latter category. For those of us who are overly familiar with Patriocentricity or other systems of doctrine that exalt "biblical family values," this is a bracing, blistering, and devastatingly comforting reminder of what faith is really about. Brant's blog, which I enthusiastically recommend, can be found appropriately enough at Brant's Blog. Many thanks to Brant for his kind permission to reprint this article here. (Source)

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My dog growled last night and I thought of this question and decided I'd ask you.. My husband travels a lot (like 2 weeks a month) and so I am home alone with my two babies, my dog, and my two cats, and all the scary noises and shadows that make you wonder how safe you really are.. I normally follow my dog's lead when I get worried as his hearing is better and he is very protective of us.. I read a prayer book to my babies at night (just a collection of prayers) and a couple of them contain "Protect my family", "watch over us", etc.. but here's my hiccup.. God lets bad things (horrible things) happen to good people.. to HIS people.. People are raped and murdered every day so how is trusting God to keep us safe supposed to happen?? Yeah, Daniel may have walked through a den of lions unscathed, but I'd be willing to bet Stephen felt every stone that was thrown at him.. So how do we sleep at night knowing the world is full of evil and that sometimes (a lot of times) that evil hurts good people?? Just wondering what your thoughts are on this topic..

Amy

Amy,

Okay, here are my thoughts, such as they are. And I hope you don't mind the picture at left. I have no idea who that is. I just like putting pictures next to blog entries. Thank you. But back to the question, and I think a LOT of people are asking it, even if not out loud:

As a dad, I think the answer to this is scary.

And this may not be true for you, it may not be exactly YOUR inner conversation, but the conversation can go something like this:

Honest question: If I am a good Christian, and have faith and stuff, will God protect my children?

Honest answer: He might. Or He might not.

Honest follow-up question: So what good is He?

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Turn Your Eyes Upon...

By Eric M. Pazdziora

funny thing happens when you spend time with someone. When I was in college, I studied music with a composer named Edwin Childs. I had several classes and weekly lessons with him, absorbing as much knowledge as I possibly could. Music theory, harmony, counterpoint, hymnology, you name it.

One day when I was home for summer break, my dad looked at me quizzically and asked why I wasn’t unbending two fingers on my left hand. I didn’t realize I’d been doing anything of the sort. Then it hit me. A few years before I met him, Dr. Childs had had a severe injury that left him partly paralyzed on the left side. I thought I was only learning music, but without any effort or even realization, I’d unconsciously picked up my teacher’s physical mannerism.

When you spend time with someone, you tend to become like them.

A lot of people miss this truth when it comes to the Christian life. They see in the Scriptures that living for Jesus entails that we avoid things like sin and worldliness—which it does—so they fixate on avoiding things like sin and worldliness.

That’s a problem.

Don’t get me wrong; I certainly don’t like worldliness or sin. I just wonder if they’re worth so much attention. Consider this often-quoted verse:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8, NASB).

When you look at this for what it says, you see that it’s stated in purely positive terms—“Think about good things,” full stop. Yet so often, people preach, “Don’t look at W and X and Y and Z because they’re worldly and sinful, and Philippians 4:8 says not to—” It doesn’t say not to do anything. Rather, it encourages us to think about things that are like Jesus. That’s all.

It’s not that we should go out and fill our minds with sin or lies or obscenity or whatever. But we have a choice what to dwell on—Jesus, or something else. Avoiding sin and worldliness counts as something else. If you focus on Jesus, you’ll become like Jesus; if you focus on worldliness—even in order to avoid it—you’ll become worldly.

Take the doctrine of separatism, for example. Some people teach that, if worldliness is so bad, we should divide ourselves completely from it and take ourselves out of the world altogether! No more ungodly influences, no corrupt entertainment, no secular music, no sinful friends… what could possibly go wrong?

Well, for one thing, you could find out that the Bible calls you worldly:

[The apostles] said to you, “In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.” It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. (Jude 18-19, ESV)

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. (Proverbs 18:1)

The King James translation of Jude is even more pointed: “These be they who separate themselves” (v. 19). According to the Scripture, separating yourself from worldly people is a worldly thing to do.

The problem is that separatists may have filtered themselves from a few nagging gnat-like sins, but not from camels like elitism, selfishness, and pride. Are you really so much better than all those sinful people, or are you a sinner yourself? Is your own spiritual state more important than other people’s, or do they need to be shown God’s grace and love just as much as you do?

But doesn’t Paul write in the New Testament to “come out from among them and be separate” and “be not unequally yoked” and “touch not the unclean thing”? Indeed he does. But that has to be considered with the rest of what he has to say:

I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. (1 Corinthians 5:9-10, NASB)

To Paul, it’s self-evident that believers should associate with people in “the world,” even immoral ones, greedy ones, crooks, and idolaters. Otherwise, he concludes in what’s evidently meant as a punch line, the result would be absurd—you’d have to go out of the world! Clearly, you can separate yourself from sin without having to separate yourself from sinners.

When we look to Jesus, all this suddenly becomes clearer and simpler. Jesus, who Himself was known derisively as “a friend of sinners,” prayed this for His followers:

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. (John 17:15)

Lord, deliver us from sin, not from sinners. Deliver us from evil, not from evildoers.

Other attempts to avoid sin and worldliness fall just as flat. Some people make rules and laws and guidelines about sin to get as far from it as possible and to appear as godly as possible. Some people in the New Testament tried that, too. They called themselves the P’rushim, the Separated Ones—Pharisees, in English. Jesus wasn’t impressed. He called them hypocrites.

What did Jesus have against rules-based religion? He recognized that paying attention to rules about what we should do or shouldn’t do in this world takes our attention away from things we might do spiritually—loving God, loving our neighbors, stuff like that.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!” (Matthew 23:23-24)

The Pharisees’ rules were fastidious about small things—even tithing mint and spices—but they missed what God was all about. Their preoccupation with avoiding little sins turned them into bigger sinners.

The sad irony is that all this fixation on avoiding worldly things, for all its appearances of piety, is not a good way to keep from being fixated on worldly things. A legalist can be just as obsessed with worldly pursuits (by trying to avoid them) as a libertine is. Not only does legalism not make you godly, it doesn’t even keep you from being worldly.

Paul writes to the Colossians in prose that crackles like fire:

So if, through your faith in Christ, you are dead to the principles of this world’s life, why, as if you were still part and parcel of this world-wide system, do you take the slightest notice of these purely human prohibitions­—“Don’t touch this,” “Don’t taste that,” and “Don’t handle the other”? “This”, “that” and “the other” will all pass away after use! I know that these regulations look wise with their self-inspired efforts at piety, their policy of self-humbling, and their studied neglect of the body. But in actual practice they are of no moral value, but simply pamper the flesh.

If then you are raised up with Christ, reach out for the highest gifts of Heaven, where Christ reigns in power. Be concerned with the heavenly things, not with the passing things of earth. For, as far as this world is concerned, you are already dead, and your true life is a hidden one in God, through Christ. One day, Christ, who is your life, will show himself openly, and you will all share in that magnificent revelation.

(Colossians 2:20-3:4, Phillips)

The message of Christianity is not “Worldliness is bad.” It’s “Jesus is Lord.”

It’s not “Try not to sin.” It’s “Think about Jesus.”

When you look to Jesus, you see that your urges to sin are suppressed on their own. When you look to Jesus, you see peace, love, joy, freedom, better than anything in the world. When you look to Jesus, you see you don’t need any worldly pseudo-religious substitutes for closeness to Him. When you look to Jesus, you see that in Him you are already dead to the world. When you look to Jesus, you see that in Him you are already alive.

When you spend time with someone, you tend to become like them.

Spend time fretting about all the problems of sin and worldliness, and you may become just as sinful and worldly as those things. Spend time focusing on Jesus and all His goodness, grace, and love, and you’ll start to become like Him. Maybe without even knowing it.

[Image Source]

Eric M. Pazdziora is a composer, editor, writer, and songwriter. He lives in Chicago with his wife Carrie. Information about his new CD of original hymns about grace, "New Creation," is available from his website at ericpazdziora.com.

Mind Control and the Adult Child | Pt. 3

Continuing my series on Mind Control and the Adult Child, and our discussion of Hassan's BITE model..."B" here.

dult children from deeply conservative, homeschooling families are probably familiar with the degree of "child sheltering" often taught at conferences, in homeschool groups, and shared among like-minded families. I'm sure we'd all agree that it's important to protect children from inappropriate messages, images, behavior, and other things that could bring spiritual, emotional, psychological, or physical harm. I'm sure, also, that many of us are thankful our parents cared enough to understand their responsibility to us.

     Mind control within the Christian family is, understandably, a difficult topic to read about or address, especially when our heart's desire is to love and honor those who raised us. Sometimes this forces silence and hiding ~ but silence and hiding are not helpful to our walk with God or to ourselves. As previously stated, addressing issues that have arisen in our lives does not mean we don't love, appreciate, or honor our parents. Jesus was sent to heal the brokenhearted and to bind up wounds. Acknowledging that we have wounds admits that we need Jesus.

The Quiverfull Family

     One challenge that full-quiver parents sometimes face is how to shelter each child properly with regards to their individual maturity. While this is a broad application, what is relevant to seventeen-year-old Mark won't be appropriate for four-year-old Jane, but to keep Mark at Jane's level won't be conducive to his growth. It's a fine balance, one that requires wisdom and the Holy Spirit for parents to navigate successfully. As adults, sometimes we need to examine some of the roots in our lives that, established in childhood, bear unwanted fruit as we mature. It is my prayer that as we look over this information and seek wisdom and truth for our inward parts, God will give us understanding of our infirmities, compassion for others, and show us the way to freedom.

     While it's likely that not all of these elements will be present in your history, review the ways information is controlled within destructive or high-demand groups. How did your experience differ? How was it the same? If you were exposed to certain things at a later time, how did you feel / what did you think after absorbing the material?

II. Information Control
by Steve Hassan

1. Use of deception

    a. Deliberately holding back information

    b. Distorting information to make it acceptable

    c. Outright lying

2. Access to non-cult sources of information minimized or discouraged

    a. Books, articles, newspapers, magazines, TV, radio

    b. Critical information

    c. Former members

    d. Keep members so busy they don't have time to think

3. Compartmentalization of information; Outsider vs. Insider doctrines

    a. Information is not freely accessible

    b. Information varies at different levels and missions within pyramid

    c. Leadership decides who "needs to know" what

4. Spying on other members is encouraged

    a. Pairing up with "buddy" system to monitor and control

    b. Reporting deviant thoughts, feelings, and actions to leadership

5. Extensive use of cult generated information and propaganda

    a. Newsletters, magazines, journals, audio tapes, videotapes, etc.

    b. Misquotations, statements taken out of context from non-cult sources

6. Unethical use of confession

    a. Information about "sins" used to abolish identity boundaries

    b. Past "sins" used to manipulate and control; no forgiveness or absolution

Thoughts for Discussion

     A sheltered upbringing is a point of delicate concern for those on both sides of this spectrum. Please share your experience, whether you believe it was positive or negative. Some who were extremely over-controlled report a sense of betrayal when realizing that all was not as portrayed to them. How has this impacted you? Your faith? Your trust, of God and others? Please share whatever comes to mind as you reflect on these issues.
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The BITE Model

From chapter two of Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves

© 2000 by Steven Hassan; published by Freedom of Mind Press, Somerville MA

Christian Isolationism: Be Ye Holy?

Proverbs 18:1
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.

Isolationism.

It is a response to the Biblical mandate to:

“ Come out from among them
And be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean,
And I will receive you.”

Or to be peculiar, as the KJV states in 1 Peter 2 and Titus 2.

What does this look like within a patriocentric family?

Obviously, this extreme form of separation is not practiced by all homeschooling or Quiverfull households. It is imperative, however, that we are aware and understand certain factors of this lifestyle, for untold numbers of Christian brothers and sisters promote the "righteousness" and "godliness" of this way, and many children are being raised in seclusion. It is impossible to calculate statistics due to the very nature of desolation and privacy, which is a right claimed with fervor by those who support this way of life. I grieve at the lack of godly balance and grace that wrecks havoc upon the lives--spiritually, physically, intellectually, and emotionally--of the ones who would be considered "the least of these" in such a family.

Mark 9:36 Then He took a little child and set him in the midst of them. And when He had taken him in His arms, He said to them, ³⁷ “Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me.”

Matthew 10:42 And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.

Matthew 25:35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; ³⁶ I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? ³⁸ When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? ³⁹ Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

Mark 9:41 For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward. ⁴² “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea. ⁴³ If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched—

A cup of cold water

Jesus took seriously the welfare of children, to the point of telling his disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones."

In our culture, both religious and mainstream, we have adopted a very lax approach to the concept of offense, or offending. We bristle at certain words, taking offense. Ideas or manner of dress that we find distasteful offend our sensibilities. We are quick to take offense at even some very innocuous things--I confess I have done so myself, forgetting what is important in light of eternity and the souls of those created in the image of God.

It is interesting to study what it is, truly, to offend or cause offense.

Just a few results from thesaurus.com, words that can be used interchangeably with offend:

• sin
• anger
• distress
• pain
• hurt
• wound
• abuse

Definitions from dictionary.com:

• to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in.
• to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) disagreeably.
• to violate or transgress (a criminal, religious, or moral law).
• to hurt or cause pain to.
• to cause to fall into sinful ways.

The Jesus who beckons little children to come to Him is the One who did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. He is the One who cares about the least of these, and who exhorts us to become as they. He is the One whom healthy parents should emulate, as He, the Lord of Heaven and Earth, tenderly knelt before His disciples and washed their feet.

Common Features of an Isolationist Lifestyle

Many Christian Isolationists feel a conviction to go back-to-the-land-- Agrarianism /Biblical Agrarianism / Agrarian Separatist Philosophy --to live what they consider to be a simple life, free from the materialism, secularism, and influence of modern culture. This is also closely related to Asceticism, which is the practice of "doing without" or "going without" for religious reasons. Many ascetics believe that most pleasures, many comforts, and modern conveniences are worldly and distract from the things of God, whereas hard work and physical labor are representative of righteous living. The drudgery of farm life is revered. Keeping busy, many reason, ensures that people simply will not have the time, energy, or inclination to live "foolishly."

Pooling strength and resources, some agrarians reside in intentional communities, groups of like-minded individuals who live, worship, and work together, sometimes even school their children together. Even with this abbreviated level of relationship, the community as a whole, as an extended family, remains largely sequestered from the world except for what is necessary interaction for survival. While religious communities such as the Amish lead such rustic lives, the FLDS is one that does not, necessarily, operate in this manner, although other factors still apply.

While not all isolationist families are tucked away in rural areas, a common feature between them and their urban counterparts are the levels of disconnection and disassociation from the outside world. It is a purposeful withdrawal, and nearly always for strict, religious reasons.

At its core, while blanketed with scriptures that admonish separation from the world, Christian isolationism is about control. In these families, the parents, usually the father, strictly monitor books and other media allowed into the home, including news-feed and news-sources. Many do not allow Internet or television; it is common for such families to rely upon shortwave radio for "unbiased" reflections regarding "what really goes on in the world." In the name of godliness, for training in righteousness, practically every element in life, from the making of simple decisions to how much "free" time a child is allowed, is governed with alacrity.

Beliefs, thoughts, ideas, and other elements of psychological grooming are carefully guided to reflect popular family tenets; again, this is ensured through selective influence. Limited social interaction guarantees against unwanted persuasion. Proponents see this as godly sheltering, a responsible obligation of conscientious, biblical parenting.

Indoctrination, secrecy, and fear are some of the biggest factors that contribute to, and promote, isolationism and the isolationist mentality.

Isolationists are generally quick to draw upon their rights for privacy and freedom of choice when their way of life is called to question. "It is none of their business" is a frequent rationale. Any mistreatment--or perceived harassment--is relegated to the spiritual element of persecution or spiritual attack, a "test". Secrets and secrecy abound. Many follow conspiracy theories and speak rebellion against the government. Fear is used as a method of control and manipulation, while simultaneously many patriocentric isolationists dwell under fear themselves--fear of losing their freedom, fear of being "found", fear of Y2K, fear of losing children to the world.

An even smaller number of Christian isolationists join militia and kinist organizations (WARNING: potentially offensive link).

Although not confined to isolationism, homeschooling is a prevalent feature. Many families are Quiverfull, and several espouse Dominionism and Christian Reconstructionist philosophies.

Most of these characteristics, taken singularly or within the bounds of a healthy, humble, truly Christ-like environment, are in and of themselves, good. Whenever fear, imbalanced control, and absence of accountability are prevalent within isolated, patriocentric familial units, there is just cause for alarm.

So What is Wrong with It?

Many within remote families or communities lack balanced, healthy accountability among those in leadership or authority. This is inherently dangerous, for all of us have been tainted by the Fall; left unchecked, an imbalanced leader can exert terrible desecration upon those in his care.

Often, women raised within isolation find themselves battling issues of fear. Some lack the necessary skills to make basic decisions. Many struggle with social anxiety. Others, who choose to leave their sheltered upbringing, find themselves ill-equipped to handle practical elements of day-to-day life. While mistakes are a crucial part of learning, many women have been raised to believe that even simple blunders elicit the wrath of God, and therefore writhe in shame and self-condemnation.

But the deadliest ramification is a polluted gospel.

Although rarely stated as such, implications remain that the gospel and the Christian life are rooted through faith in a works-based religion, rather than grace-based salvation through faith in Christ. This poses serious stumbling blocks to a walk with God which can take years to overcome.

1 Peter 1:13-19
Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; ¹⁴ as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; ¹⁵ but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, ¹⁶ because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”
¹⁷ And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear; ¹⁸ knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, ¹⁹ but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.

Peter suggests that it is the aimless conduct received by tradition from the fathers from which we are redeemed; from aimless conduct which appears holy but is relegated to "ignorance", to "former lusts", and to "unholiness"! Holy conduct, according to Peter, is to "gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." It is not living a life marked by extreme forms of asceticism, isolation, or religious works!

At its foundation, isolationism promotes misplaced faith. This, in essence, is idolatry.

Benefits of Isolationism

Is all isolationism bad? Those who live an agrarian lifestyle generally learn wonderful skills that benefit both their own families, and the world--such as the extensive growth and maintenance of farmland, gardening, and animal husbandry. Many know how to preserve food, through canning or drying, and storing. Because a key conviction is to be independent of the world, many have a vast knowledge of survivalism which can be vital.

There is a lovely element of purity of mind within some children who grow within isolation; they exhibit freshness, a wonder that is beautiful to see, and the faith that Jesus commends so strongly. Many Christian families place emphasis on Scripture, which instills a strong biblical foundation in the lives of their offspring.

Debt-free living is common within such families. This is a tremendous blessing, enabling them to use resources with more freedom than those who struggle with financial matters.

But is isolationism scriptural?

Biblical living is a delicate issue among Christians. Ten individuals can interpret a single passage ten different ways. It is essential to seek the wisdom of God while following what He has laid on our hearts, and I believe that almost every family who sets out upon a separatist path does so with a desire to obey and glorify God.

It is possible to live a balanced life sheltered from the evils of our post-Christian society, but the conventional application of most isolationist families promotes an extremist, fear-based form of sheltering. Jesus prayed in John 17, "I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one." When increasing numbers of families who strive to love and serve God continue to extrapolate themselves from the darkness which overwhelms the land, where will the light so shine?

Matthew 5:14“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

Light shining within light has little effect. A beacon in the night draws the attention of all who have eyes to see.

Just as Jesus withdrew from the multitudes to find rest, solace, and communion with His Father, there are times when we need to find sanctuary and stillness, becoming recharged for the war which rages all around us. This is a critical aspect of our Christian walk. But to intentionally keep ourselves unavailable to the ones our Lord came to seek and save is like burying our talents in the sand:

Matthew 25:25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’ ²⁶ “But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. ²⁷ So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. ²⁸ So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.
²⁹ ‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. ³⁰ And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

"I was afraid," said the servant.

Anything based upon fear is set upon a shaky foundation, for fear is the opposite of faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God.

For those Raised in Isolation

If you have been insulated from the ravages of the world, it can seem like culture shock to finally emerge from isolation, can it not? I am working on an article addressing some of the issues that women face as they come out from isolationism and extreme conservativism.

for further reading:

Agrarianism

The Good Shepherds
A Process Driven Life
Center for Agrarian Homesteading Education
Christian Agrarianism
Christian Exodus
Biblical Agrarianism

Asceticism

Christian Asceticism: Breaking Consumerism's Hold
Asceticism
Ecological Asceticism: A Cultural Revolution

Separation

Christian Separation
Biblical Separation
The Christian and Worldliness
Engaging the Culture: Mennonites Can do it, Too (pdf)

Child Sheltering

Sheltering Children: God's Mandate to Holiness, part 1
Sheltering Children: Parental Responsibility for Influences, part 2

Dominionism and Christian Reconstructionism

Christian Reconstructionism, Dominionism, and Theonomy
Dominionism and the Rise of Christian Imperialism
Christian Reconstructionism
The Reconstructionist Movement on the New Christian Right
The Rise of Dominionism

Emmanuel

“And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’"
Ezekiel 16:6

"Just wait till you live in the real world," they said, trampling my Jesus-heart. "The real world. You will change. You'll see."

Idyllic eyes flickered; shuddering breath pleaded that I won't change: please God, so that others will know You through me . . .

A common epithet flung against those who live non-mainstream lifestyles, "the real world" is a phrase rarely used with loving intention. For conservative, patriocentric families who also live agrarian lives and who follow beliefs to be separate from the world, these words casually dismiss years of carefully assembled conviction and creed. While I grieve at the lack of grace which generally prompts this sentiment, I also recognize the factors that give many the occasion to speak them.

However, it can be an ambiguous statement. The real world? Why are these words so potent, and uttered from all sides with unusual fervor? "Real" to whom, for we all dwell within different realities and perceive elements uniquely. And is this the world spoken of by Jesus: I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one . . . ? Why then do so many try to do just that . . . flee "the world"?

Responsible parents naturally want to shelter their offspring from the ravages of evil. When concern metamorphoses into fear, however, an imbalanced and ungodly element becomes introduced into the family dynamic.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding," says the writer of Proverbs 3.

The fruits gleaned from a lack of faith do not provide sustenance or strength. It is all too common to see family leaders who claim to be motivated by trust in God, yet who control through fear. What ramifications does this have upon women who do at last encounter this tragedy we call earth?

I know that there are many positive elements of living a life withdrawn from modern culture and I hope deeply that my words are not cast as a judgment favorable towards society. I do think that there is a common misapplication, therefore a distinction, between worldliness and what many, including Jesus, refer to as "the world". I will save the practical factors for perhaps a future article but at the moment I want to address something that is close to my heart.

I lived a life that was not considered "the real world".

Therefore I was not truly prepared for the genuine pain of others.

I am sure that we all can agree that we have heard trite response in our lives as some attempt of assuaging agony: "just pray" "this too shall pass" "hang in there" "don't give up" "let go, let God", etc. I myself have said these things. And yet . . .

And yet.

There is so much pain in this world.

For those who love Jesus, and for those who do not yet.

Within strictly-controlled, biblical homes, many of us are taught that pain comes from sin, that God exacts judgments upon others, and if someone is experiencing deep recurring pain then they are either running from God, not walking in obedience or faith, or some other merciless response. Some of these things may indeed be true at times, but within our sheltered realms we can grow to have a skewed perception of the true woundedness of others, and be ill-equipped to help.

True, our amazing God is mighty enough to use any of our humble offerings, and anything in His creation, to help those who labor, those who mourn. He is the answer for all cries of the heart, for all seemingly endless pain, for unbearable grief.

And yet.

We are created to be in relationship. We are called to weep with those who weep. We are called to be ambassadors for Christ . . . the same Jesus whose ministry it is to heal the broken hearted, and to bind up their wounds.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2Corinthians 1:3-4

Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for
enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer.
Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 2 Corinthians 1:6

My heart breaks and weeps for those who struggle to survive even from one day to the next, for those who have seemingly endless torment and never find relief despite their pleas to God. I feel inadequate, for I am but a broken woman clinging to the mercy and grace and presence of God in my own life. In dark moments I feel something akin to survivor's guilt . . . thankful, yes, that God has brought me to life and continues to comfort the aching places, and yet there are moments when I almost wish I could trade all He has done for me with the pulsing wounds that others bear, if only to give them a moment's rest. A kiss of relief. A bit of clarity, comfort, and sustenance.

Because there is so much pain.

Loving God, and seeking to walk in obedience, does not make one immune; propensity for our own sin does not make us necessarily a brighter target. We are all affected, each of us, by this tragedy we call earth, by the nature we call fallen. May we learn to be genuine, to exhibit the mercy of Jesus as we sojourn in this land. May we not be unaware of the sorrow and the grief that walks around us, that lies buried and even dormant in the hearts of those created in the image of He who is eternal.

May we learn to be vulnerable, learn to be a light in the darkness, a safe place for those who hunger, so that they will be drawn to the One who is in us. May we dare to step beyond the comfortable places, the protected places, the shelter . . . and follow the Shepherd who went to seek and save, to comfort and to heal. To the ones who lie struggling in blood, let us be His hands, His feet, His arms, His heart . . .

May we be willing to walk in the steps
of the One who passed by,
who was not afraid to come alongside

and give life.

33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”John 16:33

Emmanuel.

God is with us.