n response to my recent post, Daughters in Waiting: Adult Daughters at Home, I received this comment from Jocelyn Anderson. It's too good to keep buried away and I wanted to share it here. Thank you, Jocelyn, for stopping by and leaving words of wisdom painfully gleaned from your own experience.
May I offer a brief perspective from one who recently lost a father to death? My father was a national hero, and he was my hero for a brief period when I was young. But by the last year of his life, we were very distanced from one another, both geographically and emotionally.
I did not consider my father a good parent, but now that he is gone, the anguish of my heart is that I was not a good daughter. I had to admit, that when it came to my father, I did not acknowledge the Lord in all my ways so that He could direct my paths. And that was a painful fact for me to face. Dad was gone; there was no going back. I couldn't change a thing, and oh how I wanted to!
I may be a bit emotional because the timing of your blog is just a few weeks short of the first anniversary of my father's death, and I still deal with my failures. His really don’t matter anymore. I had no idea how much I loved him until he was gone.
Hind-sight is 20/20. And I know it is easier to think about what we should and could have done after our parents are gone than it is to deal with difficult parents while they are still alive.
I don't know if I will ever see my father again. I have no idea where he was at with Christ. During his final days, the onset of dementia prevented any meaningful communication. "...it may seem like the "meantime" draws on for eternity," .... But trust me, in regards to our family relationship, eternity, unless they belong to Christ, only begins after they are gone.
~ Jocelyn Anderson